When 2014 began, I had big goals
I had the usual goals, lose the same 10 lbs that I have been trying to lose for the last 5 years. Get more rest and eat cleaner.
But my main goal was to be true to myself, to create, to put more emphasis into my Fat Cow Studio business.
I made the hard decision to only work part time at my “real” job so I could concentrate more on my “dream” job. It came with a financial price, but I don’t require much. It pays my insurance, a little spending money and keeps me close to long time friends. The company I work with is great and understanding.
Everything was rocking along great. My business was blooming, great orders were coming in. I loved my new found freedom.
Then my mom died in June. Just a few days after my husband and I visited her and my dad. That brought me to my knees.
Even though she lived in North Carolina, I talked to her everyday. Sometimes it was a conversation that I needed her wise advise, sometimes she needed mine. But mostly, it was her quick wit that had us both crying from laughing so hard. How was I supposed to live without talking to her every day??
I still do. I started a journal that I could write down all the things I would say to my mom. I talk to her through things she loves, the sky, flowers, trees, the wind, anything in nature. I talk to her when I am throwing clay, driving home. And she hears me. I get little messages from her, almost daily. Little heart shaped leaves, a bug that I haven’t seen in years. A pretty bird singing at my window. Finding things that she gave me years ago and long forgotten. I miss her voice, her laughter, her wit and her smile. but she lives in my heart…everyday. I will never get over losing her, but that is life and in my Mom’s own words…Life goes on..
But with death, there is life! My son, David and his wife, Megan had their first child! A son named Steven, after my husband. He is our third grandson. I may be bias, but this child is the sweetest, prettiest baby ever ( along with my other two grandsons!) I didn’t think I could love another child like I do my oldest, but my heart just expanded and is over flowing with love for this child. Steven is just what I needed. A cuddly, sweet smelling, giggling, cubby baby that I can kiss all over!
I am truly blessed with healthy, happy grandchildren. I see new things through their eyes, laugh at the silliest things and play outside, I mean PLAY, like tag, throw rocks, skip, play pretend pirates and cowboys. Pick up leaves, sticks, rocks and chunk them in the creek, go fishing and swimming in a stock tank. Life is full of fun things!
My husband and I sold off a couple of acres of our land with our beloved home. We are downsizing and preparing for retirement ( did I just say that? makes me feel old!) We moved into my studio, which is half of a barn. It is nice, one big room with a bath and small kitchen. I thought we would get on each other’s nerves being in such tight quarters after being in a big house. But we love it! I had to take over his part of the barn with all my “stuff” pottery wheel and kiln, work tables, jars and jars of buttons, estate sale jewelry for recycling, paper, leather, just plain stuff. But we are making it work until we can build our home in our dream spot. I have always wanted a craftsman style home. My grandmother’s house was a craftsman and I always loved it. Our new home will have all the beautiful architectural components of the old style craftsman…Yeah!
In October, I was invited to be a vendor in the Harvest Moon Art Show in Granbury, TX. I had a blast! I was surrounded by very talented artist and I was a little nervous! But I did very well. I met so many nice people. I loved it when they would say “You are Fat Cow! I follow you on Facebook!” That meant so much to me.
As the year winds down, I have recently lost a dear friend to cancer and a cousin to a massive stroke. But I have also have happy news each day. The sunrise each morning is more glorious than the last. Birds continue to sing their own songs, baby calves bring tears to my eyes. The love of my family and friends grows deeper each day. I have been loved by the most beautiful women in the world, my mom, my friend and cousin. I find beauty all around me, every day, and am reminded that life does go on….and it is beautiful!
My word for this year was grace. (and it took a lot of grace this year!) I am still looking for my word for next year. I am thinking… Brave…
Thank you all for being my friend! Thanks for letting me vent or writing things that are on my heart. Being so kind with your comments. I love you all…
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!
(Hopefully, I will lose that 10 lbs!)